How a person reads with limited central vision

I had a thought whilst lying in bed wide awake. I want others to get a sense of what it's like to live with Stargardt's. It's really hard to explain what it is like to lose something that you take for granted and use every second of the day. Then I thought to a chain email that circulated a long time ago, some of you might remember - a passage of a story was sent except the middle letters of the word were jumbled. Once you got to the end of the passage, it said that you had just read the whole story essentially spelled incorrectly, but you were able to read it.

This demonstrates how I read - my blind spot covers the middle of words, so I see the start of the word, possibly the end, and it's all a jumble. Yet I can still read it (it still needs to be in a larger font).

I've put together an example for you, have a go at reading this (beware I threw some tricky words in!):

• Sagdtrart's Dasisee is a tpye of macualr degaeentiorn. It afefcts ynoug polepe, lkie me, and cehagns our levis frveoer. Tnihk aubot tihs, jsut as you are gitnteg uesd to lnviig yuor lfie, fgrniiug out yuor dermas and anirtapsois, tehn rnmldoay you ncoite sthniemog a liltte off in yuor viosin. The nxet tnhig you konw you're bneig tlod you hvae an ibunclrae dsasiee and wlil lsoe yuor shigt.

And just in case you got stuck, here it is written properly:

• Stargardt's Disease is a type of macular degeneration. It affects young people, like me, and changes our lives forever. Think about this, just as you are getting used to living your life, figuring out your dreams and aspirations, then randomly you notice something a little off in your vision. The next thing you know you're being told you have an incurable disease and will lose your sight.

Imagine reading like that all the time, it does get tiring. It's as though the brain has adapted to read in a different way. The image below is of a meme that was circulated and a response was written by the Cognition and Brain Sciences Unit in Cambridge, UK, which you can read here. They explain some of the reasons behind how we are capable of reading words with jumbled letters, although we apparently read 11% slower. This makes sense as I have noticed it takes me longer to read. 

I'd be really interested for those who aren't vision impaired to share their experience reading this. I hope this gives a little more understanding into how myself and others with SD read.

Today is a milestone

Today is a milestone in my journey. Apart from being my sister's birthday (Happy Birthday J!), it's also the day my driver's licence expires. 

I've held my licence since I was 16 and got my Learner's. My first care was this horrendous red Mercedes Benz station wagon that fit seven people, two backwards in the boot. It was our old family car and I think my parents gave it to me so they could keep track of where I was, because everybody knew the car and would report back to my Dad who would then phone me and ask where I was. Busted! Apart from it's hideousness, it was a sturdy, solid beast and kept everyone safe.

My second car was, once again, a dump. My Dad being a mechanic was always picking up old cars no-one wanted. This lead to my inheritance of an old blue Mitsubishi Lancer. The catch was that this car was manual, and I only knew how to drive automatic. I've never felt more uncoordinated in my life learning to drive manual. I stalled the car (not exaggerating at all) over 10 times at one intersection! Luckily, I finally got the hang of it and turned into the manual queen! 

My little Lancer got me to and from uni, and in my final year of uni I landed a full-time job and my first real income. My first purchase was a brand spanking new silver Mazda 2. She was my baby, my first really large purchase. It was only a few months after I bought my baby that I started having vision problems and was diagnosed with Stargardt's. What a slap in the face. 

I was told at that time I shouldn't be driving at all, but I'm NOT proud to say I continued to drive, only short distances and not on freeways. I know I shouldn't have but letting go was ridiculously hard. I wasn't coping with all the emotions of this diagnosis and this was another blow. 

As my vision deteriorated I knew I had to stop. That was a huge decision and something that caused me a lot of stress and anxiety. I've written about that experience previously. This was also when I decided to sell my car. It was a contributor to my rock bottom.

Even though I haven't driven for about a year, today still is a big deal. I've known this day was coming and it was always a black day in my mind. It feels as though it is now final, done, can't be changed and set in concrete. There's no chance I could renew my licence. It's almost as if I had hoped a miracle would occur and I would improve. I never lose faith until the day has passed! 

To be honest, I don't feel as bad as I thought I would. I thought I'd be feeling anxious and like my control is being taken away. Part of this lesser feeling is probably due to not having driven in a while, I essentially weaned myself of driving, then the idea of driving. I've really surprised myself and I'm surprised in my strength and positivity. 

I still hate public transport and will continue to avoid it (chauffeur wanted, enquire within!). This just gives me more motivation to succeed and bring about change for others. I want everyone else to know that it DOES get easier. I'm not going to lie and say it's a walk in the park and I don't have days when I just want to cry, but overall my outlook has changed and my drive just keeps increasing. 

It's hard to let go, but do it slowly if you can. It always looks worse when you are looking into the future, but once you're there, it's not so bad. Then when you look back, you think 'wow, I did well' and can feel proud and push yourself further. 

Stay positive and never, ever give up!

Photo credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/45739752440941597/

Real People #2

This month's story comes from a good friend of mine who has been a great support to me from my early days of diagnosis. I hope he can inspire you too.

Jono Goerlach, 32, Canberra, Australia

Tell us a bit about your condition and your symptoms.

At age 15 I was diagnosed with Usher Syndrome Type 2. This condition combines both Retinitis Pigmentosa, and slight-to-moderate hearing loss, which I have had since birth and wear hearing aids to combat this.

What is your current situation, what do you do?

At present, my primary focus is on being a full-time Triathlete. I've been involved in the sport for almost 3 years, building towards my end goal of qualifying for a Paralympic Games. In an effort to give myself the best opportunity to achieve this goal I chose to move to Canberra one year ago where my coach and his triathlon squad are based.

Since moving to Canberra I have also signed up to a double bachelor degree at the University of Canberra, studying Sport & Exercise Science/Sports Management.

On top of these two time-consuming responsibilities I work part-time as a Soft-Tissue Therapist to help pay the bills and maintain at least a little social life.

What was your biggest hurdle and how did you over come it?

My biggest hurdle was around the age of 26 when I reached a point in my life where the reality of my impending blindness started to come to fruition - and I wasn't even prepared for it. Initially, admitting that I was depressed and dealing with anxiety was the first step to getting back on track. The next step was to find something I was passionate about, set goals to work towards, so I could have something to focus on - sport was my passion before my diagnosis, and sport was the passion that would be the answer to moving forward. Since returning to sport my life has completely changed, to the point where I feel like I've lived two lives. I'm only just getting started :)

What are your goals for the future?

My main goal is to represent Australia at the Paralympic Games. Up until October 2014 I was focused on Rio 2016, but unfortunately that opportunity has been taken away simply due to fact that our sport has five types of disability but only three types/classes were offered a medal event. The positive, though, is that I do have an opportunity to go to the following Paralympics in Tokyo 2020.

I am also driven to finish my degrees so I can start working with athletes with a disability in areas of sporting development/management. I am also passionate about reaching out to the wider vision-impaired community to educate them and their supporters about the many opportunities there are available to them - having a disability is an opportunity to find your true abilities.

What would be your best bit of of advice for others going on a similar journey?

Find your passion and let it take over your life. Having that focus will produce more opportunities than you could imagine - life is defined by opportunities, even the ones you miss.

If you'd like to follow Jono's journey to triathlon greatness follow his Facebook page here.